What I would Do, Bold.org: Searching for Scholarships

I am a former foster youth, survivor of childhood sexual assault and and adult survivor of human trafficking. I grew up being abused sexually and physically, along with my many siblings, and I was pulled from my parents when I was 8 and placed into adoption. I was separated from all my siblings and moved two states away. 

When I was 19, I graduated with honors from High School and was set to go to college during the 2008/2009 recession, when I was lured into human trafficking through grooming. I was held captive for over five years being forced to perform non paid labor and was sexually exploited, before escaping in July of 2015. I got my first job through the help of my community teaching me job skills and how to dress appropriately. I hid my story away for a long time. In 2018 I started going back to school and became an Emergency Medical Technician with the hopes of serving the public. Then I started talking about my story and decided to press charges on my trafficker. No arrest was ever made. So I made it my mission to stop this from happening to others. 

Now, I am employed as a nationally licensed EMT who volunteers for a nonprofit (Redemption House of the Bay Area) pulling victims off the street and into safety. From there we work to get them into treatment, legal help for restraining orders, housing and teach life skills like how to attend a job interview and put together a resume. 

But prevention is key, so I also developed my own curriculum to train law enforcement on a trauma informed approach to investigating trafficking. It is a five hour class that law enforcement can take voluntarily. They also often consult me if they run across a case they might think is trafficking. 

I am currently majoring in criminal justice, but can only take one class each semester due to financial restraints. If I had a degree I wouldn't have to volunteer, I could make fighting human trafficking my full time job. 

Having a scholarship would help me advance greatly in school, to take more units at once and further develop my curriculum and instruction materials and I can implement it in schools and institutions, not just law enforcement. 

Those in our community often have a very skewed and narrow minded view of what human trafficking is, or only focus on sex trafficking, when labor trafficking is much larger. They also are misguided from social media and sensationalized stories, and this leads to further harm. Community education on all levels is so important and that's why my work is so important and I want to continue educating the community to the best of my ability and with respectable qualifications, and the legal knowledge to back it. On top of that I want to do more to help victims and survivors to navigate the system and lead productive lives. 

A scholarship would allow both of those to happen. Life really is a domino effect and the smallest things can change everything.

My Scholarship Profile: https://bold.org/megan-berger-1/#application-for-good-education-scholarship-reward-for-current-students-deadline-upcoming

the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams

THE FUTURE BELONGS TO THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN THE BEAUTY OF THEIR DREAMS

by Eleanor Roosevelt by the way.  See let me tell you before I begin. There are two types of people. Those who give you a quote, and those who write about it.

You have to have a dream. Nobody goes through life without a dream or hope for the future. Nobody. As i have become older, my dreams have changed. they are more realistic to my character, and I vow to help others on my way to reaching these goals. My dreams are beautiful. I would be happy with nothing else. What is so "practical" about them is that they are not dependent on being rich, the opinion of an industry or what the most of society thinks. They are mine, yet not meant to discourage anyone in any way yet sometimes they might. I will do all in my power to make sure that this future of happiness and success in not money, but what matters the most to me, belongs to me.

The truth hurts

Have you ever disliked someone because you think or know that they have what you want? You think they don't deserve it. That you are better than them, that you'll appreciate it more. You look at their face and think they are stupid, self centered or not worthy. Then you figure out that they aren't that bad as you thought, this may not mean that you actually got to know them, but they appear to actually be a good person. It may be hard because you realize that maybe they do deserve it, even maybe more than you. Then you start to second guess yourself every moment. I never think that I am not worth anything. I know I am, but yes, sometimes I get hit hard with the fact that somebody may be better than me, and everyone knows it.

The inside counts... the outside counts more.

I am not gorgeous or stunning
I do not have the perfect smile
(In fact it is quite awkward)
But I do know what I am
I am smart, intelligent,
caring, compassionate,
creative, gifted , ambitious,
I love people
I hear colors, I see music,
I respect myself, celebrating, sing myself, 
I love my sister and I wish I could tell her so
I am proud of my heritage and my culture.
My children will be bilingual. 
I want to make the world a better place.
That means more than a pretty face
My point?
If you are beautiful,
So much so that you can have anything you want,
You should try to be a person who deserves it.
And when you see a pretty face, 
Don't be envious.
Look at who you are inside first.
That will make the world a better place.
Not a girl kissing herself in the mirror.

How Long? written 7-24-2008

Only seconds until you break
How much more can you take?
That awful feeling called dread
denied-yet believed it-now you feel dead
how much can you give,
and still want to live?
how long before you aren't you
and you know you thought your life was too good to be true
you no longer trust your heart
because your feelings and dignity were taken apart
how long before too much is missing?
how long before no one is listening?
you are someone no one can recognize
and tried so hard so no one would realize
you're going through the motions- simply existing
no one will know you fear your life was ending.
play the famous game they wont know whats wrong
act happy , they'll be convinced- but for how long?

The power of the violin

I don't think that there is any instrument played more gracefully, or more beautifully than the violin. Although the piano comes close when played with the right music and passion.

With the violin, one could create the soundtrack to my life

Something about the slight harshness goes straight to my heart and grabs hold. Then I feel and hear everything. I hear my despair, my fears, the melancholy, the beauty of life, as well as the cruelness of it, love, true love, and joy that cannot be expressed through words. Then I see the emotion on the face of the musician and have a newfound respect for the art.

If you haven't felt this kind of magic, just wait. and if you have well, lucky you. The next time you hear real violin music, savor every second of it. Really pay attention to how it makes you feel and then your life will be enriched

HEALING

My grandmother went to a seminar when I was 17 years old and the priest there gave her a reading which she gave to me. It still stays with me. The first part was as follows.

"Healing is releasing from the past. It is re-training our minds so as not to see the shadow of the past on anyone. It is learning not to make interpretations of people's behavior or motives. It is letting go of the desire to want to change another person. It is letting go of expectations, assumptions, and the desire to want to control or manipulate another person."

I agree with this completely. It's important to worry about your own past before that of somebody else's. It's important not to let their past affect you based on your own. It's also coming to a point where your past has lost its power to hurt you. Which does not mean you have to forget it. It's there for reason. As for motives, well I would like it to be a double standard but its not. I have no motives and don't want my actions to be interpreted for anything more than what they are. Yet I can't help but do it myself. When it comes to the point where I don't judge somebody's actions, well maybe it is healing, but I call it trust. I don’t try to control people, only a situation. The worst part is that there is more than one person in a situation and I can only control my own actions. If somebody wants to ruin somebody's life or their own, I've learned that there is not much I can do about it. It's useless. The more I try to be in control, the worse it gets. You have to put trust in something other than yourself, and it is hard, I know. The next part is slightly religious but bear with me.

"Healing is letting God write the script of our lives. This continues to be a struggle the moment that we think we know what is best for ourselves or another person."

Well, I’m sorry, but I DO know what's best for me, and I make decisions accordingly. I know when I am on a path to ruin my future, and then I get off it. I got on the path that I knew was right and left the other one behind. The problem was, when I got on this right path, it was covered in thorns. I still knew it was the right one because I also saw roses everywhere, like never before. But do I detest when people think they know what's best for you. They really don't. Nor do I pretend to know what's best for others. 

The last part I'll leave up to you:


"Healing is letting go of the fearful child so many of us carry inside.and awakening to the innocent child who has always been within us"